Angela’s mouth was pressed hard against mine, her teeth sometimes biting my bottom lip. My mom was supposed to be at work until tonight, so I’d invited her over hang out and watch a movie. After that horrible breakfast with Allie a few weeks ago, I’d been having a hard time dividing my time between the two of them, which meant I hadn’t been seeing either of them all that much. But when she got here, Angela quickly made it clear that she didn’t really feel like watching anything on TV, so now we were back to doing what we did most of the time – making out.
As usual, Angela seemed to be enjoying it more than I was. It’s not that I didn’t like it, but it just wasn’t as awesome as I’d always imagined it’d be. Maybe I felt a little pressured because Angela wanted me to enjoy it so badly.
After a few minutes, Angela pulled away from my lips and looked at me, smiling. “Maybe we could move over to your bedroom?”
It was such a cliché line that I could barely take her seriously. But she was still looking at me, expectantly, waiting for me to say something.
“Uhm… Let’s stay here,” I said awkwardly.
She looked surprised, but didn’t stop smiling. “Oh, you want to do it here? Wasn’t expecting that, but fine by me.”
“No,” I quickly said. “No, I don’t want to do it here. I don’t want to do it anywhere. Not yet. I’m sorry.”
Angela frowned. “But why? I don’t get it. We’ve been dating for over three months, why the hell don’t you want to have sex with me? Isn’t that what guys are supposed to want?”
“I’m just not ready,” I said, starting to get annoyed. Angela snorted. “You sound like a girl.” “Just let it go, Angela!” I was starting to get annoyed.
She crossed her arms and frowned. “This is about Allie, isn’t it?”
I sighed. “We’ve had this conversation like a hundred times. It’s not about Allie.” Maybe just a little bit. “I just feel like it’s a big step and I…”
“Or you’re just secretly in love with your best friend and that’s why you don’t want to have sex with me!”
“If I were in love with Allie, why would I be with you?” Why am I with her?
“Well, if you’re with me, why don’t you want to sleep with me?”
“Is that really so important to you? Just sex? Is that all you want to do when we’re together?”
“All I want is to know why you don’t want me!”
“I never said I don’t want you!”
“But you’re acting like it!”
“Fine, so what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t want you to see Allie anymore.”
The sudden calmness in her voice startled me, than made me angrier than I’d ever been.
“You’re kidding. Do you seriously think that I’m going to stop seeing my best friend who I’ve known for years?”
“If you cared about me at all, you’d do that.”
“Do you even realize what you’re asking of me?”
I got up, furious. “Watch your damn vampire movie if that’s what you want.”
“Where are you going?”
“Out on the porch. Just leave me alone.”
I was out there for over half an hour, slowly calming down a bit. I couldn’t blame Angela entirely. My crush on Allie hadn’t completely faded over the past months, and it was partly the reason why I hadn’t wanted to sleep with Angela yet. A part of me just felt like I shouldn’t. But then again, her asking me to stop seeing Allie was just outrageous.
I heard footsteps behind me. Angela came out on the porch, looking a lot calmer too, and a little embarrassed.
“Do you mind if I talk to you?”
“Go ahead,” I said coldly.
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to ask you that. And I don’t want to pressure you. But…” She hesitated for a second. “Allie just makes me really insecure. I mean, you guys are so close, and she doesn’t exactly look like a troll…”
I laughed despite myself, and nodded. “I understand.”
“Anyway… I’m sorry.” Angela shrugged. “Can I make it up to you by taking you out for some lunch?”
As I looked at her face, smiling, I felt bad for yelling at her. But at the same time, I still somewhat reluctantly agreed to go for lunch with her. For some reason, it just didn’t feel right.
It was already past dinner time when I opened the door. Lunch with Angela had taken a little longer than expected, and then I’d gone to the library afterwards. Mom should be home by now.
“Mom, I’m home!” I yelled as I walked in the door. I kicked off my shoes and threw them into my room.
“Mom, are you home?”
As soon as I walked into the living room, my blood turned cold and I froze. Mom hadn’t answered me – she was lying on the couch, eyes closed, as if she was asleep… But I could tell that she wasn’t. Her face was white as a sheet. I could see her chest rising slowly, so she was still breathing, but something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
I didn’t realize how badly I’d started trembling. Frantically, I started searching for my phone. I couldn’t think straight, I didn’t even think about calling an ambulance straight away. All I could think about was to call somebody else. The only person in the world who I knew I could always count on.