“No, no, no… Are you kidding me? This is not the time to break!”
I rubbed my temples in agony. The shower was broken, the sink was clogged, I was already running late for work, Matt was still asleep because he got in after 3 AM, and I could hear Enzo crying for a bottle upstairs. Desperately, I texted my boss saying I’d be an hour late today since I was ‘stuck in traffic’. I’d deal with him yelling at me later.
After feeding Enzo, I grabbed some tools and got to working on the sink. I’d leave the shower for Matt to fix. Everything had been in complete chaos lately. Every morning was a battle against the clock, with getting both the kids ready, then getting myself to work on time. Usually I came in late, which meant that my boss had another reason to yell at me and tell me that I would never be a ‘true artist’.
Sighing, I grabbed a mop and started cleaning up the bathroom floor which had started looking like a river. Matt got home late most evenings, so we barely had time to talk – let alone do anything else, if you know what I mean. Most of the time I was exhausted and sound asleep when he got in, and Enzo woke me up while he was still catching up on sleep from the show that night.
He was home all day with Enzo and he was there to help Allie with her homework when she got home from school. But when I came home from work, he usually had to leave right away, which left us with nothing but a quick peck on the cheek. And of course, then I had to get into the boring mom role of making dinner, dealing with a fussy baby who was tired but didn’t want to sleep anywhere but in my arms, and getting a defiant six-year-old ready to sleep in a bed that she was convinced was full of monsters.
And once I finally got everyone in their beds and asleep, there was the entire house to clean up. I loved my kids, I loved my family, and I’d do anything for them, but I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to keep going like this…