Hey guys! So today is my birthday and to celebrate, I decided to make an extra long birthday chapter for you (warning: it is really, really long)! As you’re reading this, I’m probably off celebrating, but please leave a comment! A lot of work went into this one so I hope you enjoy it ❤
I looked in the mirror, taking a deep breath and straightening my tie for the hundredth time. It was ridiculous how nervous I was. I felt like a teenage girl going on her first date – except I was a teenage guy who’d never been on a date.
But my crush would be coming over to a party at my house tonight. And I wanted to look great.
It’s no big deal. You’ve seen Danny a billion times at school. What’s so different about tonight?
I tried to calm myself down, but it definitely felt very different. Seeing Danny at night time, in a party atmosphere, wasn’t something I was used to. And even though I tried not to get my hopes up, somewhere in the back of my mind, I really wanted something… special to happen tonight.
At that moment, my phone buzzed, indicating a text message. I shook my head, trying to get those silly thoughts and hopes out of my head, and grabbed my phone. It was a text from Danny.
Hey, can’t wait for the party tonight! See you then.
It was a simple message, short and not particularly sweet, but it still made me smile. Danny’s messages always made me smile.
My phone rang for the millionth time. Another message from somebody, telling me what time they’d get here tonight and how many people they’d bring. This was already being worked up to be a pretty crazy party. I quickly replied and put my phone back in my pocket.
There were steps audible in the hallway.
“Jen, is that you?” I said, turning around. I had been expecting her for a while.
Jennifer didn’t answer me, but simply opened the door. When I saw her, my eyes widened and I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face.
“Holy shit. You look… amazing.”
She smiled shyly at me, but with a confident twinkle in her eye.
“I’m glad you like it.”
She brushed the flowy fabric of her dark blue dress, which flowed easily over her hips. I swallowed hard and had to fight the urge to throw myself on her.
“Like it? I love it. God, I’ll have to shield you from every guy at the party tonight.”
Jennifer laughed as I walked over to her and stroked her cheek.
“You sure know how to exaggerate, Oliver,” she said with a smile.
“I’m not kidding. I mean, you always look beautiful, but tonight… Wow.”
I tried really hard not to look at the revealing cleavage, but I failed. Jennifer noticed and grinned.
“My eyes are up here, babe,” she teased.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “It’s uh… distracting.”
Luckily, at that moment the door bell rang.
“Party time,” Jen said, “I think the first guests are here!”
The party was in full force in no-time. People kept coming in, going out, bringing friends and trying to sneak upstairs. A bunch of people from school had come, and Oliver seemed to be having a good time. So far, it was a success.
We’d moved most of the fancy and breakable furniture into grandma and grandpa’s old room and locked it. The middle of the living room had made space for a dance floor and a cheap bar with even cheaper liquor that people had brought. Pretty soon, most people were at least a little tipsy.
Even though I wasn’t planning on getting drunk that evening, it was pretty funny to see Jennifer – who was always very prim and proper – acting crazy on the dance floor with her friends after two glasses of rosé. The atmosphere in the room was light, fun and breezy. Everyone seemed to be getting along.
I was in a corner of the room, talking to one of my friends from school. I was barely listening to the conversation though. While my friend spoke, my eyes kept scanning the room for a sign of Danny. He had said that he’d come – why wasn’t he here yet?
Suddenly, as I was quietly nodding along, I noticed him and my heart jumped. Danny was standing near the mini-fridge, opening a beer. He looked up, saw me, smiled and waved.
“Excuse me,” I mumbled to my friend, as I subtly tried to move away from him.
“Hey, Sam.” Danny greeted me with a pat on the back and a slight squeeze in my shoulder. “Seems like a fun party you got here!”
I smiled, trying not to sound too nervous. “It is. Did you just get here?” Danny nodded. “Got held up at work. But I’m glad I’m here now.” He took a sip of his beer and took a look around. A slightly awkward silence fell, and I was frantically looking for something to talk about. “So, uh… I’m almost finished with the project and…”
Danny interrupted me. “Come on, Sam, it’s Saturday. Let school go for a second.” He grinned. “Did you have a beer yet? I think you need another one to get in the party mood. Here, you finish this one.” He promptly handed me his half-empty glass. “I’ll go get a new one for myself. See you later, Sam.”
He brushed past my shoulder as he made his way over to the bar. I looked at the foamy layer on the glass in my hand. The foam that his lips had made little dents into. I sighed happily. This party was looking up already.
“Oliver, stop it, not here.” Jennifer giggled and tried to push my lips off of her neck, but quickly surrendered and let out a little moan. I loved it when Jen got tipsy. She was usually such a control freak, but after a few glasses of wine she quickly relaxed.
“Sorry,” I grinned. “You just look irresistible. I can’t help myself.”
“You’re crazy.” She shook her head but smiled.
“Are you having a good time, babe?” I asked. “Yeah, it’s fun. Everyone’s enjoying themselves, I think.” Jennifer looked at the clock. “Just one more hour until your birthday. How does it feel to be nearly eighteen?”
I shrugged and smiled. “Any age is fun when I’m with you.”
Jen looked at me with a sparkle in her eyes. “I still need to give you your gift,” she said. She’d been making a big deal about the gift she was going to get me for weeks now. I’d been suspecting that it would be a new standing mixer that I could use in the kitchen, but my parents had just asked me which color I wanted, so now I had no clue what it could be.
“Hey Jen! Come over here and dance! We found another bottle!”
One of her friends called Jen from the other side of the room. Jennifer looked over my shoulder and waved. “I’ll be right there!”
I laughed. “Come on, girl, show me those moves,” I teased. Jen wasn’t a particularly good dancer and she knew it.
“Ha ha, very funny.”
She quickly leaned in to kiss me on my cheek, but lingered around my ear for a second.
“Meet me in your room at a quarter past midnight. Your gift should be ready then.”
Without waiting for me to answer, she ran to her friends and went searching for a cork screw in the kitchen.
A few minutes before midnight, I wandered off into the kitchen to get some water. I was surprised to find my brother standing in front of the window by himself.
“Ollie? What are you doing here?”
Oliver turned around. “Oh, hey Sam. Just getting away from the craziness for a while. What about you?”
I nodded. “Same.”
“So,” Oliver said, trying to sound casual. “I saw you talking to Danny.”
I couldn’t help but blush. “Yeah. He’s having fun, I think.”
“Good. I hope you don’t mind that I invited him,” Oliver said almost apologetically. “I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.”
“I don’t mind,” I said. “You’re right. I would never have done it myself. Although, to be honest, I’m still pretty confused about… about him. And what he, you know… likes.”
Oliver snorted with laughter. “Well, there’s only one way to find out, right?” he said optimistically. “And even if he doesn’t swing that way, you still had a fun night. That’s what counts.”
He smiled and I smiled back.
“Yeah. That’s true. Thanks, Ollie.”
The clock struck midnight and everyone at the party started yelling Oliver’s name. I stepped forward and hugged my brother. “Happy eighteenth birthday.”
It took all my patience to wait until a quarter past midnight. Jennifer had disappeared somewhere while everyone was congratulating me, and it took me a while to break free from the crowd of people handing me celebratory beers. The hallway was dark as I made my way up the stairs.
Not knowing what to expect, but still somehow nervous, I knocked on the door to my bedroom.
I pushed the door open and my heart nearly stopped at what I saw.
The party was getting crazier and crazier inside. The music was louder, drinks were spilling everywhere and at least two people had locked themselves up in the bathroom – either to puke or to make out. I had to get out of there for a minute, so I walked over to the porch. As I pushed the door open, I noticed Danny was sitting on the bench. He looked startled as I opened the door.
“Oh… Hey Sam.”
He was clearly a little bit drunk. His speech was slightly slurred and he was swaying on his seat, but he still seemed to be relatively in control. “What are you doing here, Danny?” I asked as I sat down next to him. It seemed easier to talk to him when he was drunk. Maybe I was a little tipsy, too.
“Just watching the stars,” he answered, while dreamily looking up at the sky. I followed his gaze and chuckled. “You can’t even see them. It’s too cloudy.”
Danny laughed. “Yeah. I guess. But they’re there, you know. That’s nice. I mean, even if you can’t see them, you still know that they’re there. That’s nice.”
I smiled and looked over at him. “That is nice. Really nice.”
Suddenly, I realized how close to each other we were sitting.
“Jen, oh my… You look… This is…” I stammered at the sight of my girlfriend in white, lacy lingerie. Jennifer smiled shyly, but with a confident air tugged at the straps of her corset.
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah! Totally. I just…” My voice became hoarse with desire, but I managed to control myself.
“Good,” Jen said triumphantly. “I thought your eighteenth birthday was a good occasion to really celebrate for the first time.”
Suddenly, rationality kicked in for me. I grabbed Jennifer’s hands.
“Jen, listen. I love this. And I really appreciate you doing this. But seriously – if you’re not entirely comfortable then we don’t need to…”
“Oliver,” Jen said, suddenly fierce. “I’ve thought about this. I’m ready.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Me too.”
Danny’s face was close to mine now. Thoughts were racing through my head. Am I crazy? Are we doing this? Does he want to? What am I supposed to do?
Danny didn’t seem ready to initiate anything. He looked at me, somewhat drowsily, somewhat expectantly. But something in his eyes made me feel like maybe if I tried… He wouldn’t hate me.
In a sudden burst of courage, perhaps brought on by the light-headed feeling I was having, I pressed my lips on his. It was clumsy, it was awkward, but it was wonderful. Danny grabbed me hard by my waist, seemingly encouraged by my kiss, and pushed my lips open. I felt like I was flying and going through a free-fall at the same time. All of my doubts and worries went away, and all I wanted was to stay there forever.
And then, the most horrible, horrible thing happened. It must have been a few minutes into our kiss. Danny suddenly roughly pushed me away. At first, I thought he was playing a game, but his face was angry, furious even.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
I was too confused to even say anything. Wasn’t he grabbing me and kissing me back five seconds ago? Where did this come from?
“I thought… I thought…” I was stammering.
“You thought what?! You thought I… I liked you? You thought I was…” Danny had a frantic look in his eyes, confused and upset at the same time. “You thought I was gay?” He almost whispered it.
I shrugged, trying to hold back tears. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I just…”
“My god, Samuel, what if somebody saw us!”
He was yelling at the top of his lungs again.
I felt crushed. My hopes, my happiness, my self-esteem…
I didn’t know what to do, tried to reach out to Danny, to make him understand – but he pushed my hands away.
“Get away from me, you freak!”
My heart shattered into a million pieces.